THE US REPORT

Commentary by Kay B. Day

A Louisiana couple refused a marriage license by the Justice of the Peace in Tangipahoa Parish’s 8th Ward hit home for me. In August we celebrated the marriage of our daughter, who is white, to a young man who is brown. Within our own circle, we didn’t face prejudice; on the contrary, family and friends seemed genuinely happy for them. By the way, we are Southern.

We do acknowledge cultural differences—we see them as positive and a means of broadening our experience. I had a hilarious moment in South Carolina with my son-in-law. We were standing in my mother’s front yard and that day bees were buzzing everywhere. For some reason, they were attracted to him. He laughed and said, “The bees in this state are racist!”

In my case, what the groom’s parents and the bride’s parents gave their children are core values: keeping a commitment to the marriage, hard work pays off, an education is all-important, living one’s life according to standards, respecting others. Our families were in fact more similar than different.

It never occurred to me a government official might refuse a couple who love one another the right to declare their love via a legal contract, even if that official claimed his concern is for the children the couple may have. The very term 'interracial marriage' seems an oxymoron to me. A union is a union. It's an absolute.

Then again, I personally think you should be able to have a legal union with whomever you love, regardless of race, gender or creed. I base that on the U.S. Constitution and I can see no other interpretation other than we are all equal.

But the parish official’s statement took me back many years. I worked in a federal program aimed at helping high school dropouts get their diploma. My supervisor was a black woman. One day a group of us talked about interracial marriage. She looked at me and said something like, “If my son brought a white girl home and told me he wanted to marry her, I would shoot him.” I laughed. She glared at me and said, “I’m not kidding.”

I’ve often thanked my mother for bringing her children up color blind. Our lives have been richly broadened by friendships among numerous faiths, races, lifestyles and cultures. I’m always amazed when parents raise their children with a mindset limiting their life experiences. I believe if you set strong standards, the differences among us make our lives richer. My mother's education was limited, but she is one of the smartest women I have ever known.

Last year during a conversation I had with an acquaintance who describes herself as liberal, she made a comment about a high profile couple, a conservative couple,  in a biracial marriage. I tried to keep quiet, but realized it was impossible. I explained to her my daughter was in love with a man whose skin color was different than our own. My acquaintance attempted to apologize, but I explained I didn’t hold it against her. I hoped she’d simply see things maybe in a bit of a different light.

Bias and prejudice can be found in all corners of the world today—tribal and religious bigotry reign in many areas where conflict and strife occur. In the United States, political parties often seek votes by emphasizing differences. Politicos make promises—even laws—based on skin color, sexual preference, gender and religious affiliation.  Hate crimes laws are favored. I see those as unconstitutional as well. We are all equal but we must acknowledge prejudice is not confined to a single racial or social group. To deny that is to deny reality.

It seems to me those politicos would do the country a favor by emphasizing the human condition, by seeking to unite us rather than to divide us. I keep hoping, but the change lags behind, held prisoner by politics.

The parish official is no worse than some of the most vocal leaders and advocacy groups in the nation. The minute you subordinate or elevate a person above others because of a factor he or she cannot control, you have undone the very foundation our Republic is founded on.

Perhaps our president could invite that official and the couple over for a beer. If his schedule doesn't permit, I hereby extend the invitation to the involved parties myself, and those who know me will realize I am not kidding.