The best cheapest Valentine gift of all

Valentine’s Day brings out the pretty on retail shelves—all those bright red hearts filled with candy. In Walgreen’s today I saw this stuffed animal toy shaped like a dachshund. The toy dog was about six times larger than a real one. There were even Valentine’s pedicure kits. When you’re young, this holiday can present a challenge. Dinner for two with wine and tip at a top restaurant here in my home city can be more than $200. I’ve been married a long time, and we’ve shared many valentines and gifts. My husband has given me jewelry, perfumes, lotions and who knows how many other things. And I’ve done the same for him. But a truly memorable day doesn't have to cost a lot of money.

The best holiday or regular day for that matter is when we have a chance to sit together out back and watch the day begin to curl up. The birds are always chirping and scavenging the seed Mrs. Chickie didn’t eat, and they like to drink from her bowl. Sometimes the Cardinals will even take a bath in the bowl, and that’s a treat to watch as they fluff up their feathers, doing some serious bird-scrubbing. The hound dog is always sprawled at our feet or sitting by the pool, gazing at the water. My husband figures Shadow thinks the pool is a concrete pond. Sometimes we see a hawk, or if it’s around twilight, an owl. I always put a small snack tray together and I keep a special bag of Hawaiian coffee beans for these times. The best I’ve found here, by the way, is at Bad Ass Coffee Company. I got sticker shock the first time I bought some, but it’s worth having for special occasions.

These are the private meetups when we have the best talks, when we share whatever’s wobbling around in our heads—you could call it spousal Zen.

Things count less as we grow older. I told my daughters not long ago that when we were their age, we thought if we just had the money to do this or that, all would be well. Of course there never seemed to be quite enough money in those days—I could walk into a grocery and tell you within a couple of dollars exactly how much my purchases would cost. And now that we have enough money to do this and that without breaking the bank, the finest place in the world to be is home.

The cheapest best Valentine’s—or any other day—gift you can give your loved one is right under your nose.

You can cut a piece from the edge of a morning or an afternoon and snip enough to be able to shape a memory. That memory can be specific, or it can be like a poem, of a piece, and stand for many specific instances—a tangible feeling signifying what you mean to one another.

A memory can be more than a single event. I always smile when I think about sitting out back with my husband—it works like a favorite song in my head. That, for me, is the best Valentine’s Day gift—time shaped like a poem. There's a Bible verse from Matthew, something like 'Wherever your heart is, there lies your treasure." I can't remember the exact parsing. But it is a simple, complex message that holds up well. Real treasure doesn't come from a retail outlet. 

 And it doesn’t cost a thing except in our case, the Hawaiian coffee. I figure that goes for about $2 a cup.